Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Holi came... Holi went... But when the hell will this hell go...

Time is one factor that has the maximum effect on anyone's life. Whenever we see failures, we always hear people saying that the time is not good. And when someone succeeds, they say that his time is good. With time, life takes a lot of changes. Initially, we object so many things. But then, we accept them all with time. Time changes everything. A change with time is required to lead a better life. However, there are certain things on which a person can not compromise. And thus, he is unable to change. And finally, he falls in the ditch of bad time. Now, he has to compromise or die there. We usually find compromises as life is at stake. Exactly in the same fashion, I have been compromising on everything

People lied to me. I compromised. People played around me. I compromised. People hurt me. I compromised. People cheated me. I compromised. Each time, I said to myself, what the big deal, lets take it easy and went ahead. And today, these large number of small compromises have become a big burden on life

These small things are pinching me every moment and sucking off my blood. Each time there was a problem, I would consider to solve it at even the cost of hurting my intuition. I considered myself at fault although I was right. I did everything, forgot, solved, blamed, scolded, hit, convinced, confused, sacrificed, cried, kicked and what. Yet, the result remains the same

It is said- "No one can teach a man. He will learn whatever he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants. Had men learn what was taught, world would be a perfection and not a struggle"

I even tried this and kept quiet. Even then, things didnt work. After all these struggles with continuous failures, I really dont understand what has to be done. Everything remains a question mark and my career has slipped into an imbalanced position

Even after the best efforts, I am yet unable to read a single page. This will be the third time I will be giving my CA exams and such a shame that I am yet going to fail. A year back, the same person was the University rankholder. I dont understand why life is taking me through such harsh stages. Or am I taking my life through such stages??? Things are seeming impossible. In my previous post about my career, I had given a big list of career opportunites where the doors were open to me. However, today, I find that all the doors are closed. For each and every opportunity, I am ineligible or not compatible in one or the other manner. Life has dragged me on the roads and I am lying as a wounded street dog with no option but to die under a vehicle one fine day

I am totally confused about all this. I am unable to choose the path to move on. I am unable to know what exactly is happening. I am unable to know the reasons behind whats happening. I am unable to know anything. I know that this is a crucial moment of life. The final few days to complete my graduation and I need to be very serious and responsible about whatever I do. Yet, things are pretty upset at this end

By the way... Holi, the festival of colors has just come and gone. This year, there was no much color in it. A formality to show the world that even I played Holi was on. Colors of confusion have come up that have made life, a tough saga of colorless pictures

Holi has come, Holi has gone... And it keeps coming...
Things have come, Things have gone... And they keep coming...
Happiness has come, Happiness has gone... And it keeps coming...
But this hell called as life comes once and never goes... And once it goes, it never comes...

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