Friday, 28 August 2009

One Day at Hubli... So much...

Hmmm... I dont know how but the moment I am in Hubli, the work load increases so much that it can never match anything else. Today was atleast a heck of a day with heck of work. I got up at around 7.30 am and that too when some swamijis had suddenly got into my home and shocked all of us. They claimed that they were going to some place for human welfare and are building an ashram there and they asked us to donate whatever we could. Though my dad was resisiting, they sat in the house for a couple of minutes as it was a part of their voyage. All we could afford to donate was Rs 11. In fact, I am so happy that we could donate this much. Many a times, life runs in such a way that we cant even do this much

I had work on the internet and got on to my laptop. I had to publish a blog post that was pending and reply some emails too. I have been using Outlook to do all my email work these days and I must say that it is fantastic. I just love the way all my mailing activity is going on. I hardly use the internet to access my mails now. I just connect, do a Send/Receive, disconnect, read all mails whenever possible, reply them (offline itself), they are saved in the outbox and when the next time, I get connected to the internet, these are sent automatically. Cool?

I had been telling since morning to all the people at my home that I have to leave home by 9.30 am at any cost as I had a lot of work. But then, its a tradition in my home to not to follow timelines. Perhaps thats one major reason for any person's problems/failures. I had bath, got ready, offered prayers to God, had breakfast, had to do some work pending in respect of an application which I completed and then, I moved out of home. It was 9.50 am. I had to drop dad to his office which was about 5 kms away. After dropping him there, I dhoomed to the Head Post Office that was about 6 kms away. I had to complete a lot of pending work which almost took an hour. At about 11.30 am, all work seemed completed and I left the HPO. The word 'seemed' is always very dangerous. I was on my way back home and I got a call from the HPO saying that there was still something incomplete. And this was another big trouble. Anyways, I had to keep other commitments too and I rushed home, picked up my sister, Sushma, and drove towards SBI, Keshwapur, Hubli. What had happened yesterday was I had deposited Rs 1500 to her account for the purpose of it being transferred towards her education loan as a margin amount. But then, as she was a minor. which she no more is, when the account was opened and my dad was the guardian for the account, there was a process to delink the guardian and activate her account which had gone dormant. This, I knew, would take a hell of a time as the officials at SBI too would definitely not properly know what had to be exactly done. Its definitely difficult for someone to do something new apart from his routine job. On the way to SBI, I had to make some inquiries at the Ashok Nagar Police Station in respect of my pending work with HPO. Well, my home is about 4 kms from HPO and the SBI is about 4 kms again. The work at SBI took quite a long time and was comleted only on the intervention by a super senior. The account was activated and we could now transact

The next destiny was the SBI Loan Disbursement Division that was in Madhura Colony (about 2 kms) and before that, I had to go to complete the HPO work. And for this, I had to go to the Sub Urban Police Station at Traffic Island. I collected the required information from there and moved on to the HPO and completed all the work. I believe, this should now really mean that it is completed. Then, we had started on our way to the Loan disbursement office

I submitted the form there and waited there for some time and then ding ding ding, its lunch time, please come back at 2.30 pm. All requests went in vain and I had to wait for another hour. Meanwhile, I thought, I would drop Sushma back home. Her work was over. She had also submitted a specimen of her signature at the bank. My mom had gone to Nani's home and we too were expected to go there. 3 kms again. We reached there. It was after a long time that I was meeting all my relatives namely my Nana, Nani, Raju Mama, his wife Yashoda , Mounesh Mama's wife Jayashree (he was absent as usual), Veeresh Mama's wife Sulochana (he too was absent), and all children (My head would need a lot of effort to collect all these names are there are 8-10 of them). Maheshwari , Pinky, Ganesh , Vaishnavi, Megharaj, Sanjana, Vishwanath (Cheating, I got the last few names from my mom just now). There was a Ganipati pooja there and prasadam too was served. I joined the pooja and had food too. Then, I just came back to my Nana's home and sat down for a few minutes. Today was the first time, I dont know why, I felt like speaking to him. I dont really understand why I felt so. I never even used to think of him. When my mom used to force me like hell too, I did never bother to go to meet him. But then, today, I saw him and I felt somewhat different. His eyes have turned grey in color and I could see them shine looking at me. Today was the first time I could feel that he was genuinely happy seeing me after a long time. Generally, I have been in a tussle with him right from class III when he had promised to get me a cycle if I took a rank. I did and the promise was not fulfilled. I got a 20 rupees note as the gift which I comfortably placed back in his book without anyone's knowledge and quietly returned. But then, this was almost 15 years back. Even about a year or 2 back, I had been in a tussle on similar grounds with him. Forget all this, let me come to the point that there is a change in the way on how I approached to him today due to some kind of a feeling

Welcome back after a longish break, I had just travelled abother 3 kms and was back at the Loan disbursement office. Here too, the tug of war went on and on and on and finally, by God's grace, a cheque of value Rs 27,330 was handed over to me to pay towards Sushma's fees. I had to again go the SBI Bank to get this cheque converted into 3 demand drafts to make payments towards various fees. On the way (about 2 kms), I was just thinking how life is when there is no money. Its nothing less than a beggar's life. In fact, its much worse. As a beggar, there are no needs, there is only hunger that gets satisfied with whatever received. But then, for middle class people like us with financial problems, there is nothing we can do. There is need and we have to fulfill it. Be it in any manner, either earn or loan or beg borrow steal or sell what you have or sell yourself, you have to pay. Thats it. You have to pay

The cheque was handed over to the bank and the DDs would take half an hour. It was aroun 3.30 pm now and I had some more works to do. I went to the top floor and submitted a change of address request at SBI Mutual Fund. I remembered that I had to even change the address for my dad's account. I did that too. And updated the passbooks as well. And finally, the DDs were ready. I put them into my Jholi and got on to my bike. I really mean that my bag is a jholi. It contains so many things that you can never imagine

The next stop was at Birla Sunlife Mutual Fund where I requested an address change. As the people over there were seeing me after a long time, I had to sit there for a few minutes. One thing that shocked me was how they could recognize me or rememeber me. Neither do I contact them regulalrly nor do I do any business regularly and still, they had someone who had been told something about me and that had him excited to meet me. I just cant make out how people place so much faith in me. And me, a lazy bug, sick a**hole, just speaks and does nothing

I came out and started my bike and our beloved Dafton sir was before me, "Yen ri, Bizanessa illalla???". Hmmm... What can I tell him? Life has been taking me through such times that I am unable to trace what has been happening with me. Its just been very difficult to manage living. Saying that I will try, I took a leave and went ahead to ICICI Prudential MF and Sundaram BNP Paribas MF where I had to do the same things. It was around 4 pm and the next destiny was the Income Tax Office at Navanagar (11 kms?). Dhooooooo.......m, I reached the IT office. I had to check if my refund was ready. I had to receive a refund of Rs 6768 fromt he IT Department in respect of TDS deducted for FY 2007-08. The amount was not yet been given to me and I had been trying from 2 months now. Finally, my file had come out and I was asked to wait. And then, there was some problem that it had been filed at a wrong place and they had to transfer it to the right place. But then, I requested them saying that it was very urgent and I would be going back to Hyderabad tomorrow. Then, they informed me to come the next day and they shall see what can be done. Till now, I used to advocate the implementation of TDS as that would ensure that the ITax is collected properly. But then, today, I understood how difficult it is for someone who has got his money struck in TDS to get it back. It would never come in the time of need. I had to agree to whatever said as the need was for me. I packed up and started moving back to Hubli abd my phone rung. It was dad. He asked me to come to his office to pick him up. Hmmm... 11 kms to Hubli and 4 kms to his office

I reached the office where there were instructions left behind for me to wait at Pick n Pay at Akshay Park which was another km. I waited there upto 5.30 pm and tired, I came back to his office. I kept trying his cell which was switched off as usual. Many a times, we lose the courage to fight and we just escape. It happens to all of us and specially for people like us who know that irrespective of whatever amount of fight that goes in, you are the loser. Finally, there was a call from some cell number and i was asked to come to the main road. I went there and picked him up and started journey back home (5 kms). On the way, I got to know that he was not well. Hmmm... Life just hurts... Makes us helpless. Though I feel the same when anyone falls ill, I dont express that. I stopped at the barber shop near my home and asked dad to carry on to home. I had to get rid of this hair that had been troubling a lot making me feel very dirty and uncomfortable with all that dust that would get struck in the hair and make the face too oily and dusty. I had a haircut and a shave and went back home taking 2 stopache tablets for dad. I was keeping the water for heating and then came an announcement that I was good for nothing. Wow! What I did till now was waste. Anyone in my place would breakdown but then I have been habituated to take this happily. The SBI people had issued 2 drafts correctly but the 3rd one had come in the wrong name. Jai SBI! I will be coming to you tomorrow yet again

I had a bath and felt relaxed. I had just come off the bathroom and I remembered that I had to attend the office tomorrow. Oh God! I had not yet arranged for anyone to do my shift. Though Naresh had promised that he would take care, I could not rely on him anymore. I have already been marked for an UPL (unplanned leave) on Wednesday which would be a big black spot for my performance appraisal. Naresh had assured me that he would take care of my shift but it could not get possible. Monday was a weelkly off for me, I had to get an off from Joseph's team on Tuesday, Naresh on Wednesday, Raghu on Thursday and for Friday, ie, tomorrow, I had to make an arrangement such that I could work on sunday in lieu of who would work for me on friday. The phone calls went on endlessly. Each time I tried calling Anshu, Babu picked up the phone and I could not speak this to him. I tried calling many others but there was no response. It was a real big tension. Amidst all this, I was asked to go and get the crackers as the time was running out. There was only one place where crackers could be bought in Hubli, ie, Nehru Stadium (4 kms). But then luckily, I could get someone who was going there and asked them to buy for me too. It was a long time that I had tasted Sev Puri and Pani Puri at Hubli. So, I decided to go for it and it was good. It would have been better if my regular eating partner would have been there

The crackers came. It was around 8 pm now. We completed doing the final pooja of the divine Lord Ganesha. It was the 5th day of the festival and today, we would be carrying the idol to the nearby lake and immerse it. I got an auto. As dad was not keeping well, I decided to go with Mom and Spurti. But before that, there was a big thing hitting my head. If I do not arrange someone for tomorrow, it would be my second UPL and it would be a real serious issue. As I have already mentioned, UPLs are a very serious issue and having 2 UPLs in the same week, my God, I just cant imagine what would happen. Termination? Uhhh... Thats for 4 UPLs. I would get a CAP-I (Warning letter No. 1) I believe. I had messaged all my colleagues to help me and so, I rung up Anshu again. Finally it was he and I asked him what happened. Luckily, there was a smile. Bineet had arranged someone to work on my behelf tomorrow. Thank God

We went to the lake in Santosh Nagar, performed all the necessary rituals, burst crackers, lighted some flower pots and other firework material and a final pooja was done. And then, I walked a few steps in to the lake with the idol in my hand and immersed it 1 and took out, immersed it 2 and took out, immersed it 3 and out, and finally, immersed it into the lake with a final prayer

Shri Gajanan Maharaj ki... Jai...

Ganapati Bappa... Moraya...
Pundi Palle... Soraya...

We came back home and it was around 9.30 pm. I had to check the day's mails and then began to write this blog post. Its 11.35 pm now and I believe, the blog post has come to an end. Time to say Good Night. I dont really know what would happen tomorrow as I have to go to SBI for the DD correction and then the IT office to try getting money which I am badly in need of. And then, I also need to meet my friend and spend some time. Though we have been meeting, its been just a hi bye kind of a thing. But then, there is so much of happiness in this. The biggest thing is the chances of fights being less. Though this may not be a right point that I say that if we meet or talk rarely, the chances of having fights or problems is quite lower. However, we cant deny it either. But then, I would recognize a relationship as dazzling when at any given point of time, there should not be any issue between the individuals, especially during testing times. And the biggest key to winning relationships is to lose oneself. Only then, there can be an integration of 2 people to become one

A thought to ponder

"If both keep their identities, how can they be one, how will a new identity emerge?"

Thursday, 27 August 2009

Ganesha Calling...

After some tiring work at Hyderabad, I have taken a chota sa break from the job to celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi with my family at Hubli. It was almost 2 months that I had not been there. Moreover, we have moved in to a new home which I had not seen yet. Well, the journey started too late on Friday (21st) night. In fact, I did an early morning shift so that I could leave early. However, the roster for the next week was not yet published. I had to get 2 weekly offs and 2 additional offs. And it was very necessary for me to know when will these offs come. If they do not come on the time of my need, I might need to make necessary changes to facilitate my move. It was almost 6 pm and the things were not very clear. Moreover, I had a very important business follow up to be done. So, I had to stay back for that. Further, this schedule was postponed to 7 pm and I was totally disastered. On one side, I had no idea of when the roster schedule would come and on the other, this business meet which I could not afford to miss. In a few minutes, the schedule was out and it put me out too

Clean bowled on the first ball itself!!!

Instead of 4, I had got only 2 offs and the remaining 2 offs were postponed due to availability issues. I was pissed off. The off was on Monday. I started discussing about this issue with the concerned persons and in the mean time, I had to go for the meet also. I had no option but to go ahead with the meet which took my time upto 8.30 pm for everything to get completed including processing of the deal. My bus was at 9 pm and I was damn sure without a doubt that I would miss it. I was not getting any idea of what I have to do. Above all this, should I go to Hubli?, a new thought popped up in my mind. This was because I had offs upto monday only and I was supposed to return back on tuesday. After a lot of thought, discussion and requests, my proposal of extending the leave was considered but under pending approval. I rushed to my room, packed things and started moving. I inquired if I could get a bus from somewhere near but no one had an idea. And I did not want to waste time either. So, I went to the usual place, MGBS (Mahatma Gandhi Bus Stand), Koti

I had to go there by a bus and that took quite long time. It was 10 pm by the time I reach this place and there was one Volvo that was just leaving to Hubli. I inquired and it was full. Even if there was a seat, I would not go for it. The hunt for a bus ended with me landing on the last seat of a Rajahamsa that was going to some place via Gangavathi. I could get down at Gangavathi and take a bus to Hubli. I was so tired that I fell asleep soon. I was getting phone calls but I hated to answer them as I was very irritated not just with life but with people in life. Let me not divert the topic. I got down at 5.45 am at Gangavathi to listen a sad news that the bus to Hubli had just left 2 minutes back and I had to wait upto 7.15 am for the next one. Who would wait? I caught the next bus that was going upto Gadag which I reached by 9.15 am. From Gadag, I took a bus to Hubli that finally landed me in my home town. I quickly rushed into an Auto and took out my cell only to find that the batteries were fast asleep. I had to get down on the way and make a call from a coin box to ask the route to home and she came on to the adjacent road quickly by the time I reach. And by 11 am, I was in my new home, where I would be spending a few days and family might spend a few months/years. Its tough for people who do not have their own homes to keep moving from one home to another every year or so. It even tougher when someone having their own home have to move out of it

I got fresh and had some food. And in no time, I was asked by my friend for a movie and I had to go. We saw the movie "Shadow" which, I believe, is not much worth writing about. The actor in the movie, Irrfan Khan, is a blind in real life. Seeing him perform was really like seeing an achievement. Only God knows how he swum, drove, fought, acted and made each move that is so difficult for people like him. Thats why we rightly call them as Differently Abled (and not disabled)

And then, I was back home. My mom, sister and granny had already been to the market to get the necessary items for the festival. I went back and laid down trying to ease my body that had been paining quite a bit

Monday, 10 August 2009

Rakshabandhan... A time to nurture relationships and build new ones...

Rakshabandhan is a famous Indian festival which is dedicated to all brothers. A sister prays for the safety and welfare of her brother. As a symbolic gesture, the sister ties a Rakhi that is meant to protect him at all times and take him towards a better life. The brother wishes the same for the sister and fulfills her wishes, usually by giving a gift of her choice. But what is more important is the wishes under the blessings of the God

Its been a common tendency for me to receive the Rakhis by post and get them tied from someone who would be with me at that point of time and who I believe to be another sister to me. I can trace this back to my SSBJ days when I received Rakhis and got them tied from Ashwini and Namrata who were my classmates. Sometimes, I even got them tied from the madams in the school. Further, during my JGCC days, I had the opportunity to celebrate this festive occassion with my sisters. During IFBI days too, I got the Rakhis by courier and I tied them myself. And now, the ICICI days too, the similar thing happened. But then, there has been a lot of difference. The Rakhis have definitely arrived. But, I have not yet got them tied. I believe, there are 2 main components of this festival. The first one is the person and the second one is the time. This holy knot can't just be got tied from anyone. I, at least, am very selective of who does these honours for me in the physical absence of my sisters. The person should be worthy enough to be placed in that position. This was the first part, person. The second part, time, hit a miss this time as the Rakhis arrived a day late. So, I decided not to wear the Rakhis just like that at a point of time when the time is over. I shall be doing this once I go to Hubli this month for Ganesh Chaturthi. It shall be a good time as well as my sisters would be present

But then, surprises are always a part of my life. Anshu's parents have been here from quite a long time. His father was here for about 10 days. His mom and sister are yet here. I got up in the morning with a call from Sushma asking me whether I got the Rakhis. Sadly, the answer was No. And Spurti, don't know what she is doing. She seems to have become very busy with her life. I have not spoken to her from over a month now. She didn't even call me on Rakshabandhan. For those who do not know, Spurti is my younger sister studying in Class VIII. Jokes apart, she is lovely sister

Oh, I always keep deviating. Let me come back to the surprises part. As I got up and had bath, Omi, Anshu's sister, was ready with a Rakhi for me. I was made to sit before God, Aarti and other things done and tied a Rakhi. This was something that was really delighting for me. I moved on to office and another surprise awaited. Subhashree, an office colleague, was the next to tie me a Rakhi. This was the first time when 2 new people have tied a Rakhi to me on their own initiative. I was very happy for this

That was all about Rakshabandhan for this year. Agle saal, phir milenge, issi jagah, issi samay, tab tak ke liye, take care. My best wishes to all the sisters in this world whose sincere prayers have made most men progress

Pal bhar ke liye koi humein pyaar karle... Jhoota hi sahi...

Life has become too too too rigorous. Its just dumped into a ditch from where its becoming impossible to rise up. An attack from every angle has dampened things to the worst possible extent. Financial management for this month at least has put me totally on a backfoot. So many deadlines to meet and so many commitments to keep up. The requirement for the current month was somewhere to the tune of Rs 40000. My salary too was less this month due to some pending deductions. The rest had to be adjusted through borrowings. And unfortunately, every source has dried up. I have already taken a lot of favors from a lot of people. And as a natural human tendency, no one would consider helping anyone else financially. Thus, managing the scheduled payments became a real headache. But then, I just don't know what to say, God has been so so so graceful on me. He has made it possible. And that too, at the exact point of time when the deadline arose. I just don't know how to thank him for all the mercy and blessings that he has showered on me. He has never let me fail a single commitment till date. Not a single. Nothing that I can do can ever be even somewhere near to what God has given me. I know my life is one of the most difficult challenge any human has ever got. But then, my firm belief that God is always there to help me clearing all hurdles has kept me moving. My sincere suggestion to all those who feel like they have got a worst life, they don't have this, they dont have that, etc is firstly, stop cripping, crying and behaving like a mad bull. Second, God has put all questions before you and he also has all the answers. Just close your eyes and you will get all the answers. Now, which one will you choose is what determines your future. Even for this, you need to close your eyes, remember him and ask yourself the right answer, you will get. Just follow that and God will bless you with everything as you just found the right answer. All suffering in this world happens to choosing of the wrong answer, knowingly. Thats what is called as evil and going against the God's wishes. Its obvious that the evil's path will rust you

Life has been definitely cruel to me but due to this approach, an enormous amount of strength has been instilled in me to face it boldly and give a fitting reply. But whats very disappointing aspect of my life is when our own people do not stand by for us, when our own people let us go down, when our own people crip and cripple life with unneccessary things. Off late, I read an email sent by one of my friend. It was such a worthy teaching that I learnt and I wish you all too will learn from this

We all walk down the road and might dash someone by mistake. We immediately say sorry to one another with a pleasant smile and go on our ways. If its someone known, like a colleague or a friend, such behaviour improves relationships. But then, if the same happens between our own people, say, wife and husband, parents and childrens, amongst brothers and sisters, we shout on each other to get away and not stand on the way. Husband and wife at least get ready to take each other's life making this itself an issue that can even lead upto numerous days of not having food, not talking to each other and all that stuff. The question, as always is, WHY? Why does this happen? Why do we show our big kind helpful hearts to the world and our rotten a**es to our own family? What does it do more than adding pains and problems within ourselves? Why do we prove our egos to our life partner who is just another part of us? The answer is EXPECTATION. We all expect to get love from the other party. There is nothing wrong. But when 2 people dash and both are expecting the other person to say "sorry", that shall never happen and the situation will lead to sorrows. Thus, expectation kills love. Love is not a running race or a competition where one comes first and the other comes second and so on. Love is just a feeling where by we wish the welfare and happiness of our beloved ones. However, if you try to get love from someone or expecting someone to love you, you are not only doing the most foolish activity on this earth but also inviting biggest pains of life for yourself. The one and the only way to get true and genuine love is to truly and humbly give dedicated love to your beloved ones. Then see, life will be filled with love, happiness and bliss

Thats why, I have marked the title of this post as, Pal bhar ke liye koi humein pyaar kar le, Jhoota hi sahi. This is something that indicates that even a moment of love, sometimes through force or without interest, can set things right and usher millions of times of that love back into your life genuinely. Humbleness acts as an ignition. Just a single second of patience can work miracles in a relationship. It is this character that has built the world's greatest relationships. It is this behavior that can instill unlimited trust into a relationship

Hmmm... Lecture baazi bahut ho gaya... Time has come to say Alvida...

But then, even I would say in my current situation

Pal bhar ke liye koi humein pyaar kar le, Jhoota hi sahi...
Do din ke liye koi ikraar kar le, Jhoota hi sahi...