Saturday, 9 January 2010

From What a class! to 3rd class... Still managing to call it fun... In honest terms, its funny...

What a turn life has taken in a few days! Life was a royal living all these days with income flowing from the job and suddenly, everything comes to a halt. Cash cruch is the word to define the situation. Cash apart, life has taken a total new dimension and I have been cursing myself for over the past week for having taken another foolish decision to disrupt the normal functioning of my life. I don't understand how and why I can't stick to one line for more than a few weeks or months. I can not take anything normal. I put myself on either extremes and unnecessarily pressurize myself with grief and pain. I have joined for the CA classes and things are very unwell. Understanding even the simplest of the sums has become the greatest of the difficulties. For a person who has forgotten what one plus one is, its impossible to grow academically. I need to get back to the basics of life, i.e., one plus one equals to two. Learning A, B, C... to Z once again is the need of the hour. Given that the CA exams will happen in 1st week of May, I hardly have 3 and a half months to do whatever I can

Coming to Bengaluru has put me on the roads once again. Life has taken a big hit. I don't remember when was the last time I waited for a bus. Autos became a way of life and cars had started to become a way of life in Hyderabad. Pizza hut, Cafe Coffee Day, Hypercity, Brand Factory, Kasani Gr, etc had become a part of parcel of life. In fact, the addiction is to such an extent that life appears incomplete without them. In just a week's time, I got to know how worthy I am. Friends give a second thought before meeting or even speaking at times. Firstly, I do not have a job. Secondly, I might ask them for an LIC policy. Honestly, LIC is never on my mind when I am meeting people. Its only when I particularly decide and inform the other person that we are going to speak about it that I take up the matter. Morever, due to such situations, I have almost stopped the LIC work from more than a year. My business is so low that I might even lose my license this year. The kind of image all LIC agents have created of themselves is pathetic. Moreover, people too are no less. They hype a lot and in the process of hyping, they speak ill of others and as we all know, bad things catch news at the speeds faster than that of light. India won the match against Sri Lanka today. Sri Lanka lost 5 wickets for just 60 runs. But what was in news today was not this. It was that our honorable former prime minister Mr. H D Devegouda has abused the current chief minister of Karnataka state Mr. B S Yediyurappa in the public before the press as a 'bloody bastard'. So, no matter, how many LIC agents doing so much social service providing service at doorstep, agreeing to all terms and conditions of the customer, giving all support they can, giving best of the financial advise by sacfricing their jobs and time, people still negate them because there is another set of dishonest agents who merely sell for profit and in the process, irritate the customers by repeated contact. Its no doubt that LIC is a great organization in itself. However, it has become great because of the sweat of the honest agents. Of course, agents work for money so that they can have a life. And who doesn't work for money? Its a tendency in the younger generation to oppose whatever is advised to them by doing exactly the opposite

Off late, I have started to give wrong advises to such people who want to prove themselves so that people do the opposite and get the gain. I know that they will make it a world news that Puneet gave them a wrong advise and had they followed it, they would lose but they did not follow and they won. Yet, I would be happy as my purpose is served. I always believe, reasons, ways and causes are many but the intention is only one. If you have to reach Mumbai, you have various options like bus, train, plane, ship, etc but the ultimate destination is Mumbai only. However, the young generation has become so stubborn (should I better say foolish) that when it is told them not to go by bus, they will definitely go by bus. And most times, in the process, they catch every other bus except the one that goes to Mumbai

I have started taking the bus passes to travel unlimited in Bengaluru city again. I have made it a point to get some business to manage my cost of living and other expenses. I have started considering walking as an exercise rather than pain. I have started considering pepsi as injurous to health. I have started considering mobile phones as devices that have potential to cause cancer. All good reasons. Intention is only one. Savings. Further, the current cost is at least Rs 100 per day (majorly travel and food). I plan to bring it down to as low as Rs 50 per day. Its going to be a very tedious task but I need to manage the same. Soon, buses will become a habit and BMTC will become a way of life. Tricks like how to not to take a ticket and get away, etc will be learnt quite quickly. Amidst all the difficulties that are coming on the way, I have given self motivation a chance. I have tried lines like, 'Make effort for 4 months and live king size for life', 'Don't be a slave to coca cola and coffee', 'Education is more important than money', etc. And of course, I have been able to pull the energy to some better levels. However, my energy levels are at an all time low. I see all people so jovial around me and it makes me think so much as to why I can not be normal as them. Why do I have so much to bother about? Sometimes, I feel I am bothering too much. I remember the way I looked at people who gave CA exams at an age of more than 22-23 (ideally PE-II is written at 20). I felt like they were so big fools who could not even study in life and failed. And now, they have realised the worth of education. And today, I find myself their shoes. Of course, no denying the fact that I am still one of the youngest in my class. There are enough number of people in 30s, 40s and 50s as well. In fact, I need not curse myself because I had a job which I left volunteerly to do something but in case of other people, they have been at the same exam for years. I tried every trick to convince myself. that aLL iZZ wELL but, somewhere in the some deep corner of this machine that pumps blood to the body, there is so much pain sitting just like how light absorbed in black hole. Yet, life moves on

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