Sunday, 25 April 2010

Strong Alone in life... Either you can be a big success or a consistent failure...

Writing a blog was such a beautiful activity of my life. An act that I treasured and an act for which I would love myself. The activity has reduced considerably and thereby reducing the love. Of course, there is nothing much happening in life and I have got nothing to write. Neither do I work nor do I go out of home nor do I come across people nor do I do any business nor have I been able to even do things that are basic for human survival. These days I feel the basic activities like having food, taking bath, etc as a burden in life. I have turned into a crap which the scrap sellers too wouldn't bother to take. Now, I have to agree that I did one of the biggest mistake of my life by dreaming. Dreams are very bad if the appropriate actions can not be taken to fulfill them. Someone has rightly pointed out, 'Don't dare to dream if you do not have the will to fulfill it'. And if you do, you are only spoiling your life. A live example for this is my life

I just imagined what has been happening over the past 4 months in my life. I left my job with an objective to study for ICWAI examinations. This was the first mistake. Having known that I am only a good scorer when it comes to marks but not a good reader, I should not have done this. I thought that I would receive the support that was promised to me while I was leaving the job but that never came. Whenever it came, either it was a lie or an effort to make use of me. Something that hit me just yesterday was the loss that I have bared in the process of trying to make dreams come true. It stands at an astounding Rs 1.2 lacs. Rupees One lac Twenty Thousand only. That's my salary for 5 months plus the savings that I had in the name of provident fund, deposits, etc that I had to break for survival. This learning has been quite hurting. Moreover, there is nothing to compensate for this hurt. Had I at least studied something, I could have told something to console myself. What do I have to smile about now? Of course, I can laugh on me for all achievements I did in the recent times

In the month of January, I left the coaching classes that I had joined in Bangalore giving reasons like I can not pay the fees, I can bear the cost of living for 5 months, etc. which were, partly, true. However, the main reason why I came to Hubli was some other issue that was troubling and, I thought, my presence would make a difference. I guess it did a little difference but it made a great difference to my life. I have never achieved anything worthwhile staying at home. Being at home means getting lazy and feeling bored all the time having no work. January came to an end

In the month of February, I realised this very soon that staying here will only rust me. I quickly started looking for options. I started looking for jobs in Bangalore. I found some but again there were some misunderstandings which stopped me for going for them. In the process of fighting these misunderstandings, February came to an end

In the month of March, I had almost become a loser having no options in life. I had declared to myself that nothing good will ever happen in life and this is how it is. I thought I should do something in Hubli at least to credit something to my bank account. The savings were drying up with regular debits and I was badly in need of some credits. By now, I had become lazy enough to not work. So, I started looking easier ways. I could not find any. Finally, I had to choose the way that had been an infection to me in the past. I was supposed to strictly avoid this as I did not want to fall into temptation. But then, things were so worse that I had no option either. Thus begun a fresh stock market journey and March came to an end

In the month of April, things appeared very lovely on the first day. It was one of the best April Fools day of my life. I thought that a new year (financial year) is beginning and I need to restart life. I logged on to YouTube and downloaded a lot of inspirational videos and watched them for 1 full day. The next day, I realised that inspirational videos do not have any effect on life. I failed yet again. I looked back at the number of time I had planned and it was mind blowing. I understood that another of my biggest mistake was that I thought of being a CA which is not possible in my life. I even wasted Rs 1600 for the examination fees now. And till these exams are over, I can not do anything as the mind will always be on this. The lazy mind has got a reason to reject every activity till then. I left the job for sake of writing CWApersists

I even thought of killing everything in my life and starting afresh. But then, how many times can I keep killing. I have done it enough number of times already. I suddenly got a thought of becoming a teacher/lecturer so that I can forget myself amidst the big crowd of students. I have thought so much about my life that I do not want to think anymore of it. Being in a college would make me think about lives of students and, perhaps, this would be a big relief from the irritations that I am facing for the moment. I even attempted for the same but I learnt that it is mandatory to have a post graduation qualification from an university approved by UGC. I do not have that. So, I had to give up on this thought as well. The SCDL gives me a PG Diploma in Business Administration which is equivalent to MBA that is given by UGC recognized universities for practical purposes. But then, that is not true here as there is a specific mention that the PG has to be from UGC recognized universities only. I realised another foolish step that I had taken. I also realised what big mistake I did by not enrolling for MCom external. I was very keen on this but I could not co-ordinate things by the last date for applying for the same

Another development in my life is that I have become so worthless that things like Orkut, FaceBook, and now Twitter, have become my primary activities. I have so much time to waste and not a single second to make use of because the most basic factor for making use of time is missing

You can be alone only when you really don't have anyone. Any attempt to be alone when there are people for you and you know that well, then, you will only end up losing. Alone are those people who are really alone. And only such people can succeed being alone. Others can not. Because each time you are trying to be alone or away from the world, you are hurting yourself. And one can not fake oneself for long

I eagerly wait for May 15 when I will be free of all this hell and I will get back to work. And never will I ever think of leaving job. A big good bye to entrepreneurship. It can not happen till either you are not getting any job anywhere or you have enough money to throw around and one of such throw offs will hit success. For middle class people like me, its better to do a job and live life. Enough of Robert Kiyosaki or Robin Sharma or CEDOK or anything else asking me to leave job and all that stuff

One can either be strong or alone. Not both

1 comment:

  1. Come on Puneet, it's time for you to make double the effort and never think of quitting from anything you love to do, just believe in your dreams & make effort you'll surely succeed. You're not alone I'm with you my gem :-) I want you to succeed & be happy. Hope you'll not disappoint this gem of yours :-) All the best. Just keep moving ahead.