Thursday, 30 May 2013

The Confessions of an Embryo... #WeChatNow

WeChat is an interesting application that is making waves across all platforms. Its a brand new way to connect with friends and family instantaneously. Interestingly, the application supports group chat as well and in an attempt to spread a work, here's a well thought of blogging competition under the aegis of IndiBlogger. You may learn some wonderful tips and tricks on using the app from WeChat's Youtube channel.

While there are tens of people I would like to chat with all the time, here's how a chat could progress if the following characters had to converse, assuming I were the Embryo in this case. The entire script is imaginary, unreal and fictional. Of course, it has got nothing to do with anyone who's dead or alive.

Embryo: Yeeeaaa, I'm returning to d earth again... :)

Bangalorean: LOL, as if u r one Bill Gates or Steve Jobs

Mumbaikar: Kaun Hai Be Tu? Main 30 baras se yahaan hoon. Kuch nahi kar saka. Tu yahaan aake kya ukhadega?

Embryo: Hairaan? Pareshaan? Main hoon 'Shaktimaan'...

Mumbaikar: Sorry Shaktimaan. Haila, lekin tu kab mar gaya?

Embryo: Kidding dude... I'm nt Shaktimaan

Mumbaikar: Phir kaun hai ba tu? Kyun subah subah paka raha?

Embryo: Guess

Bangalorean: Giv clue

Embryo: Ok, lt me giv a clue, I'm d greatest guest tht Mumbai evr hd

Mumbaikar: Bhukkad saale, seedha naam bol. Yahaan log hazaar guest aate.

Bangalorean: Accrding 2 Wikipedia, thr r a lot of guests tht Mumbai had in d recent past

Mumbaikar: Phir main kya bola? Abhi phir yehi bolne ke liye ek software program likh tu

Bangalorean: Dude, u commenting on me? come on, grow up. jst look @u

Osama: !نرحب مرة جندي بلادي (meaning 'Welcome back my soldier')

American: What the heck? You were supposed to be dead Osama.

Mumbaikar: Abey, yeh kaun hai? Oye teri software, bol yeh kya likha hai?

Bangalorean left the Chat

Mumbaikar added Bangalorean to the Chat

Mumbaikar: Su-swagat mere sher, kahaan bhag gaya tha tu?

Bangalorean: How did you know that?

Mumbaikar: Abey, main hi add kiya

Bangalorean: WTF, you know Osama? I'll call the police.

Bangalorean added Police to the Chat

Osama left the Chat

Police: Dear Sir, please complaint on our facebook page at . Pl like our page also. Thanks

Police left the Chat

American: Whats happenin here? Ye kya ho rahi?

Mumbaikar: Abey, police ko kyun add kiya. Paagal ho gaya kya?

Bangalorean: Hw d hell do u knw Osama? Hw could u add hm?

American: For Christ's sake, Osama is dead.

Mumbaikar: Abey tu chup kar angrezi. Main bola ki main tujhe add kiya, Osama ko nahi.

Embryo: Stop fighting like kids. Tell me which is the best place to be born in the world now.

Mumbaikar: Mumbai

Bangalorean: Bangalore

American: 10 Janpath

Mumbaikar: Oye

Bangalorean: WTF

American: LOL


American: do u have one?

Embryo: have what?

American: an ass

Bangalorean: hahaha... roflMao

Embryo added Osama to the Chat

Osama: Police gayi?

Mumbaikar: yeh phir aa gaya

Embryo: gayi gayi

Osama: Bahut acchi, bahut achchi... mera sher hai tu... welcome back

American: WTF Osama, you were supposed to be dead???

Mumbaikar: ek kaam kar, Mumbai aa ja. best city hai. lekin yahaan already bahut log hai, bahut pollution bhi hai.

Embryo: yea, i knw. btdt. il kil tht beggar who snt me 2 mumbai

Bangalorean: ummm... i wouldnt recommnd bangalore though its the best place to live in... stay away, esp with that Osama thing...

American: everybody wnts to cum here but no one cums. so, u can cum

Bangalorean: how come no one cums in america?

Osama: u came for food n guidance. i sent u 2 taj. whts wrong. u shd thank me

Embryo: STFU and stay away from me. I'll kill u Obama

Osama: Yo Yo !!!

American: Holy Christ, for Jesus sake, y wd u do tht

Embryo: *Osama

Osama: It ws ur next task my son, but u couldn't reach til there

American: But Osama's dead

Embryo: FU Osama, i mean i'l kil u, u osama

Osama: y u wanna kil me. i alwys did good 4 u

Mumbaikar: Abey oye tharki saale, tu chup baith. @Bangalorean, yeh Embryo kaun he pata chala?

Osama: he's our star. he's our superstar.

American: rajnikanth?

Rajnikanth joined the chat himself

American: Sorry :(

Rajnikanth left the chat

Mumbaikar: hahhahaaa...

Bangalorean: roflmao...

Bangalorean: WTF, this embryo is Ajmal Kasab. Run. Run. Run

American: America is not a good place to live. so, pl dont come here embryo.

Mumbaikar: pichle baar idhar aakar marr gaya. iss baar bhi marega. aake toh dekh.

Osama: see, nobody likes u. cme to my territory dear. u wil liv lik king

Bangalorean: rather, come to bangalore. study engineering n become a software engineer

American: wow, perfect punishment

Mumbaikar: perfect hai bhai, perfect. bangalore jaa

Embryo: see Osama, wht hv u made of me. ppl r nt evn wiling 2 accpt me bck on earth

Osama: y on earth u wnt 2 cme here?

Embryo: STOP. i m nt gonna b brain washed by u ths tim. spending d lst 1 yr in hell, seeing u n ur entire group here, i knw u r in a shit.

Osama: its better to rule in hell thn 2 b a slave in heaven.

Embryo: I said, STP. u cnt brainwash me this time.

Osama: ur work is half done my son. u r a warrior. go on, cmplete ur mission.

Embryo: Stpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

Bangalorean added Arnab Goswami to the chat

Arnab: I'm here...

Osama: Remove him or i'm outta here

Bangalorean: who cares?

Arnab: Go ahead embryo. im here.

Embryo: arnab da, i wnt 2 liv a new lif. i dnt wnt 2 wrk wit ths idiot osama. bt he's nt leaving me.

Arnab: first tell me whether ISI hid u or not osama

Osama: bhai, jo hua so hua. ab bhool jao. main marr bhi gaya hoon. ab nark me toh chain se rehne do

Arnab: thn y r u nt leting kasab cme bck 2 earth

Osama: main bhej dunga. galti ho gayi. maaf kar do. tumse ladne ki taakat nahi mujhme abhi.

Arnab is typing...

Bangalorean removed Arnab Goswami from the chat

Osama: what a relief...

Bangalorean: I think he shd b givn a fair chance.

Mumbaikar: sahi hai, aaja kasab. jahaan chahe aaja. buss nek iraade se aaja. warna, pata hi hai...

American: i feel d same. kasab shd b givn a chance to grow in a good environment with better objectives for life.

Embryo: thank u guys

Embryo: I knw wt horrendous thngs i did in my previous lif. its such a shameful act. i deserved death.

Osama: u died lik a coward. u shd hv eaten cyanide n died lik a true hero on tht day itslf.

Bangalorean: n ths r suggestions d commander gives to his soldiers

Mumbaikar: dum nahi hai innme. darthe hain. innko bhi pata hai na, ke yeh galat kar rahe hain.

American: such a coward

Embryo: I'v realisd d truth. i wnt 2 b born in India n purify myslf of al d sins i did. i wnt 2 evn get al thse ppl suffering here in hell aftr takng wrong steps.

Bangaloreaon: I dnt care if u r born in India or elswhre. all i care is tht u shd liv UP in lif n help d world become a better place

Mumbaikar: sahi hai

American: true tht

Embryo: thanks guys, lets see if the almighty approves my application

American: einstein said world is dangerous not becoz of bad ppl bt bcoz of other ppl who don't do anything abt it

Bangalorean: n i guess, v hv stoppd being lame observers. no more scope for culprits 2 jst get off

Mumbaikar: yeh mat pooch ki des ne tujhe kya diya. agar poocha toh osama jaise log tujhe brainwash kar denge. yeh pooch ki tune des ko kya diya

Osama left the chat

Embryo: Thanks guys, i'v learnt tht every1 can dream a thousand things. but it needs ppl lik us, especially me, to effectively use our energies to develop positive things. i hv learnt it all d hard way. if the Almighty blesses my wish to be reborn on the earth, i'd b more responsible abt my life n d decisions i tk. After all, the world is a beautiful place n i wnt 2, now, mke it even more beautiful wit u all...


  1. Awesome Blog post and u must win!!! All the very best for the contest :-)